Brazil 2000/01 | school program
1. When and where were you abroad?
In Brazil 2000/2001
2. When you applied, did you know that you were bisexual, transsexual or homosexual?
Yes, I hadn't accepted it for myself yet, but I was aware of it. I knew then that I was either bisexual or - for me at the time in the "worst case" 😉 - a lesbian. Today I would describe myself as bisexual with a lesbian preference.
3. Was your sexual orientation or sexual identity an issue for you during your stay?
Yes, again and again. I was secretly in love with my host sister, but didn't let it show. I often talked about the subject with a Brazilian friend because she “looked” quite lesbian and I was right in my assumption. At that time she was still with boys, but also with girls. She now lives with a woman. The exchange with her was good, I didn't feel so alone with it.
Another experience that I have not forgotten: Once I was in the cinema and in the film there was a brief kiss between two women. At that time, the kiss was quite "harmless" by European standards, but clearly homoerotic. During the kiss, a loud murmur went through the cinema and people cleared their throats, etc. It was visibly unusual, almost like a small scandal, which surprised me very much. After the film, I asked my friends who were in the cinema with me if such reactions were normal. They answered rather ignorantly and evasively. Funnily enough, one of the girlfriends also lives with a woman today..
Despite being Catholic, my host parents were very tolerant towards homosexuals – more openly than my host siblings, interestingly enough – and they clearly expressed their openness. But I think if I had revealed myself to them, it would have been unusual for them, especially for my host sister.
I also kissed a couple of Brazilian boys back then, it was also quite ok/interesting, but without a heart. Above all, I wanted to be able to have a say with the others.
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